Reflections on Leaving Mormonism

Some have wondered how I could leave Mormonism. I was so strong, so faithful. My testimony was so strong. How could I possibly fall?

I personally think that the loss of someone with "strenth of testimony" I used to have scares those that are still in the church. They simply don't know how to deal with what looks like such an extreme change. While it is true that there are MANY things that are different about how I live my life now, it is interesting how many essential things have NOT changed.

The rumors are that I let myself get tempted and fell into sin. That my thinking and soul has been corrupted by leading a sinful life that I now justify by finding fault with the LDS Church. That I have become a classic apostate (there are also probably rumors of me reaching much darker depths) and I have become one to be wary of and that I am definately very deluded if I can deny my former testimony and "turn my back" on God and the Church.

More innocent explanations are that I am just mad about how "certain things" have been handled. That I am eventually going to "get over it" and I will "find my way back." To those with that opinion: Please don't hold your breath.

Ironically I don't think that I have really changed that much at all. I am still the same person at my core. I still want to do the right thing. I just no longer hold "God says so" as a very good basis for a moral code and it is not even a very solid basis. (Yes there can actually be morality without God!!)

So, I have decided to formalize some of my thoughts on this subject here in this blog. There is so much that it will take multiple posts. However this blog won't become only a series of rants so no worries!